Single Digits

Taking Wedding Entertainment to new 'heights'

2010-11-04T07:36:00.000-07:00

The creator of Broadway show, In the Heights and original Unavi, Lin-Manuel Miranda surprised his beautiful wife with the most delightful song on their wedding day. Here's hoping I snatch up my own Broadway genius in the future!

L'Chaim to both!

The Secret to life...

2010-11-03T17:22:00.000-07:00

Who knew that the secret to living happily ever after was condensed into a 3 minute song written in the 1960s?! The wise, Jimmy Soul unveiled the secrets to being "happy for the rest of your life" in one simple phrase: "get an ugly girl (or guy) to marry you".

How simple was that? And all along, I thought that happiness= marrying Brad Pitt.

Below are the deep lyrics from Jimmy Soul and above is my favorite scene from Mermaids featuring the song.

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he marries her then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife
you'll be happy for the rest of your life
An ugly woman cooks meals on time
And she'll always give you peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Sax solo

Don't let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly, her eyes don't match
Take it from me, she's a better catch

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Spoken:
Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, an' she's ug-leeee!
Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

Facebook Break-ups: New Study shows when most people break up on Facebook

2010-11-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

FACEBOOK BREAKUPS

According to a new study conducted with over 10,000 FaceBook status updates, breakups happen in seasons. Next time you are "in a relationship" on FaceBook or if you are in one currently, keep in mind:

Spring Break= Relationship Mass Terminations
Mondays are the most common day to break up
and there's a slim chance you'll be dumped on Christmas Day.
(via Buzzfeed)

So, if you take anything away from this study it is this: August Through October will keep you on the safe side from getting dumped on FB.

May you have less Exes than Oh!'s
-SB

Lost in Translation?

2010-10-27T08:14:00.001-07:00

(photo via Leilockheart)

everyDate Lessons: 'Sole' Mates? (First Reader Submission)

2010-08-24T07:31:00.000-07:00

FIRST READER SUBMISSION!!!

Reader from NY

One reader shows us that some dating disasters aren't limited to episodes of Seinfeld or Sex and The City.

"So my friend wanted to do her 24th birthday at a club and friend hooked her up with a club promoter. He was a guy who she communicated with only over the phone and via text. He seemed very polite and professional. He found her a cool spot in midtown [Manhattan] with a descent package and a few days after her birthday party he requested her friendship on facebook.

She accepted.

A few days later he sent her a text saying that he browsed through some of her photos and particularly liked some shots she took of her feet in very high-heeled stilettos. She didn't know whether to be flattered or freaked out. And then when she responded "Why did you like those photos?" he wrote that he had a "shoe fetish" and asked how old were a particular pair of shoes she photographed and if he could please hold on to them for a while. She asked why and he said because he really wanted to smell them. Most women would of been freaked out and automatically would of deleted his number, but she was so curious about his strange fetish she decided to stay in touch in order to find out more about his fetish (for research purposes). They had a few awkward conversations over the phone and one day he asked if she could take a picture of her feet in her oldest pair of heels. She sent him the picture through her phone and shortly after she received a picture of him smelling a pair of women heels, jerking off! She messaged him to never contact her again or she was going to file a restraining order.

The end.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Never give away your 'Soles" for Research purposes .

everyDate Lesson #5: Being "One of the Guys" doesn't always get the guy

2010-08-23T09:45:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since my last post due to other writing assignments with my freelance gigs but, this topic seems to annoy me more and more as I get older (and hopefully wiser).

You all know that one girl ( or maybe it's you) that claims they "get along better with guys than girls" therefore they hang out with all guys and barely have girlfriends because " girls cause too much drama". These girls often boast at the fact that they are 'not like other girls' when in fact they are doing themselves a disservice.

Let's be real, ladies. Everyone needs same-sex bonding. I mean, no guy ( even if he's gay) will understand PMS to its core, know what it feels like to be heartbroken or cry with you when you are down. Why keep lying to yourself by surrounding yourselves with all guys who,by the way, do not think of you as date-worthy if you are included in their circle of trust? A guy who is romantically interested in you won't let you in on all the "guy code"

Befriend at least one girl who you feel you can trust and you will start reaping the rewards of same sex bonding. Truth is, if you can't get along with your same gender it may be something you are imposing on yourself rather than something caused by other girls.I am not encouraging you to join a sorority or change your identity but rather open yourself to the possibility of having girlfriends too.

Let's face it, biologically you are one of us.

everyDate lesson #4: Don't expect the unexpected.

2010-08-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

It happens to all of us.

We develop a crush on someone whom we assume feels the same electric shock of passion that we do.

But they don't.

It isn't until our hearts crumble like a dried out chocolate chip cookie that we realize we were in a Mono-lationship aka the only one in the relationship. So, when do you let the expectations taught to us by romantic comedies, fiction love stories and other's experiences play a role in your relationship?

I have learned three vital things through the tap dance recitals on my heart since my younger years:

1. Unless he/she lets you know they are in it to win it, they really aren't into you ( as cliche as it sounds)

2. Most people do not leave their emotional baggage behind so easily. If there is baggage, expect to help them carry it.

3. There really are plenty of fish in the oil-polluted sea.Grab your rod (no pun intended) and start fishing

Photo thanks to: www.smellslikehollywood.tumblr.com

everyDATE Lesson #3: Also Known As AWKWARD

2010-08-06T07:29:00.000-07:00

Once upon a date... or two...or five dates (you get the point!), One of my girlfriends and I have special nicknames that we adopt while we are out partying to avoid the creepy Facebook Friend request from guys we determine are not that cute. It all started last summer ( 2009) and it has worked fabulously well...except this one time. I was at a lounge I frequent often with some of the girls, including my fellow alias user who, for the sake of remaining anonymous we will call Andrea. There we were, dancing and having a great time. After a while, Andrea and I decided to go into the middle of the dance floor as usual and while we were there, we were approached by two grenades. Now, for those of you who are not familiar with the reality show, Jersey Shore ( trust me, it's a guilty pleasure!), a grenade is a not so cute guy or girl who tries to hit on you. Andrea and I are known to be friendly and outgoing girls so we don't necessarily turn down the guys... we just tell them our fake names. One of the guys, balding and reeking of Old Spice and Corona beers, decides to attempt a conversation while we dance to a Merengue song ( we are at Latin night).

Old Spice: " So Betty (clearly NOT my real fake name, gotta protect my identity), are you from around here?"

Me ( as Betty): "No, I'm actually here on vacation from Chicago"

Old Spice: "Oh, too bad...when do you leave?"

Me: "Tomorrow, actually. This is our last night out"

Old Spice: " Aw, that's too bad! Hope you had a great vacation."

Me: " Yes I did, thank you!"

A couple songs later, Andrea and I escaped the grip of the creepy men and headed home.

Two Weeks Later...

I go back to the same lounge to meet up another girlfriend for a quick martini and catch up on life. This time, it is a mellow night so we decide to sit out on the patio by the bar. As we are sitting there, talking about our lives and catching up I start to feel as if someone is staring at me from across the bar. I don't know if you've ever had the feeling but it is an eerie chill that you feel. Unsuspecting I glance to my right and the coast is clear-just cougars and sugar daddies flirting over martinis. Relieved, I glance to my left and THERE HE IS! Baldy Old Spice!! Sitting merely 4 people away from me, staring right at me! his head shaking in disappointment. At this point, I have no idea how to react, Should I acknowledge his existence there, pretend I don't see him or just walk away? I text message my friend sitting next to me to grab the check and meet me by the bathroom and an explanation will come shortly and I head to the bathroom. I try to slither through the crowd as swiftly as possible and when I finally get to the bathroom at the end of the hall I walk in like I've been holding it in for an entire roadtrip. Minutes later, I figure the coast is clear so I decide to wait for my friend outside the bathrooms, I pull the door open with a sigh of victory and right before my eyes is Old Spice himself, walking out of the Men's room directly across from me! What are the odds?!

Old Spice: " Betty... back for another vacation?" ( clearly, he's not convinced)

Me: " Yea, my job has offices here, I come often."

Before he can reply, I walk away and disappear into the crowd.

and Old Spice was never dated by me again.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Never use fake names or identities in places you go to often. More than likely you will run into the same guy twice.

BREAKING NEWS: Proposition 8 overturned! Gay Marriage now legal in California

2010-08-04T14:45:00.000-07:00

Less than an hour ago, a Federal Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that proposition 8 which ruled against gay marriage in California was unconstitutional thus making it legal for same sex marriage in California.

I'm overjoyed! why? (cue debate sequence)

For starters, it is nearly impossible for someone to sympathize with homosexuality unless they know and love someone who is homosexual themselves. One of the people whom I consider my soul mate ( minus the mating) is gay and I wouldn't want it any other way.

(mine and my bestie's TV counterparts... Jack and Karen on Will &Grace)

In my humble opinion, I believe that people live and die by their own decisions. Therefore, if you're gay, straight, buddist, christian etc... you reap the benefits and consequences of your lifestyle.

Secondly, some of the most monogamous and fulfilling relationships I've observed have been same-sex. NO, just because you are gay does not mean you are a promiscuous hoe sleeping around. Take Ellen DeGeneres for example, her and Anne Heche were together for a while and now her and Portia Di Rossi lead what seems to be a pretty stable married life (so it seems)

Where am I getting with this?

Kudos to Vaughn Walker for finally putting an end to all this regression happening in congress ( Arizona immigration laws, anyone!?). Hooray for all those in same sex relationships who have been together for 20, 30+ years and can finally have a real wedding! and if you don't agree with me, it's ok.

Public Opinion is free to roam rampant in our society... however, forcing any public opinion on unwilling people is not right. it's facism.

ok, my rant is over. Thanks for reading :)

The Fancy Boy

2010-08-04T13:22:00.000-07:00

props to www.alittlefragile.tumblr.com for making this screenshot/dialogue that fits perfectly with everyDate lesson #1

everyDATE lesson #2: Google before you Yahoo!

2010-08-03T19:20:00.000-07:00

Once upon a date... I met a terrific dancer while out for a friend's family party at a lounge. After dancing to spanish music all night, we exchanged numbers and before I even got home he was texting me flirty comments. Since he was my friend's cousin, I continued to text him throughout the day before doing my typical google investigation ( anyone can be a sex offender these days!). After a day and half of texting the common 'interview questions' I decided to google him to see what came up. I came across his Facebook page and clicked to make sure it was his page. Sure enough it was his page, There he was, holding a newborn baby, next to HIS WIFE. The next time he texted me it said : "Hey, what are you doing later on? To which I replied, " Going to the movies with friends, you should come... invite your wife and new baby."

and the Hiding husband was never dated by me again.

Moral of the story: Always Google search your potential dates... you never know if they are sex offenders or worse- ALREADY MARRIED!

everyDATE Lessons #1: Never share Makeup!

2010-08-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

*names and situations have been changed to avoid getting sued

Once upon a date... I was asked out by a charming musician whom I had not known for too long. On the night of our date, I was pleased to see that he arrived promptly, dressed in a quite fashionable ensemble. Although at first sight it seemed slightly too metrosexual for me, I decided to put my critical thoughts to rest and enjoy the night. After a wonderful sushi dinner, interesting conversation about musical influences and ourselves we headed to a lounge to hear some live music while sipping on red wine. Three glasses of Pinot Noir later, it was time to pay the bill and call it a night. When the check arrived, my date decided it was the perfect time to empty his pockets of every lint, coin and receipt that resided in his skinny jean pockets. At first I was confused as to why he couldn't merely pull out his debit card without unloading his 'junk drawer' from his pockets onto our table. But, before I could say anything-I saw it-

A clear tube of glitter lip gloss

sitting amidst the rubble and trash, glistening in the dim lights like liquid diamonds. At first, I thought Does he think showing me his 'pimp status' is impressive? so, jokingly I asked " Is that your lipgloss?" to which he replied proudly. " Yes, I love my lips to look shiny."

My face, unimpressed, remained paralyzed for a few seconds while my brain's neurons scrambled to make sense of the situation. Before my brain could provide a well developed answer I blurted out, "Are you bi-sexual?" That didn't mull over too well, his face, which was by now as offended as mine was did not flinch as he answered me a stark "NO"

15 minutes of awkward driving later, we arrived at my apt and bid each other farewell with the false promises of "hanging out again" and the makeup-toting musician was never dated by me again.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

If his lipgloss has more glitter than yours, let him sparkle on his own. Never loan a boyfriend your makeup.

New Series!!

2010-08-01T08:07:00.000-07:00

"Dating Myself" may be over but, the Single Digits blog lives on.

I decided it was time to share my dating disasters and the lessons I've learned along the way. But, I don't want to just share mine, this is open for all readers! Please send me your stories to my email- shelikabaez@gmail.com with the subject: everyDATE lessons and I promise to make it anonymous and will use your true story to teach a dating lesson. Ever wonder where sitcom writers get their crazy plot lines? My life! Names will be changed for legal purposes (let's face it: I don't have money to be sued) but the crazy antics will be there for all to read and learn from. I will try to post the new stories three times a week for the hungry readers so, SEND ME YOUR STORIES!! I know you've all had atleast one dating disaster that can teach a lesson to others. e-mail it to me in all the gritty details and I'll craft it into a short and sweet train wreck.

Sit back, and stay tuned!

May you have less Ex's than "Oh!"s

Dating Myself- Conclusion

2010-07-31T20:26:00.000-07:00

Couldn't end my month long challenge of Dating Myself with out Ol' Blue eyes. I am satisfied with the conclusion and "more.. much more than this...I did it my way" Enjoy this live rendition

Dating Myself Conclusion

2010-07-31T20:11:00.000-07:00

On July 1, 2010, when I decided to take the plunge into dating myself I thought my life would suffer a huge change in my life; that it would radically switch my perspective on life- and it did. However, little did I know that it would change things in ways I didn't plan. Throughout this month I gained a lot more than just blog readers ( Thank you guys !!! ). As they say, " All good things must come to an end" and although, my blog series, Dating myself has neared its completion, the blog lives on! and I have a new series of funny blog posts starting tomorrow!

SIX THINGS I LEARNED OR RE-LEARNED

6. Having surgery provides the most rest anyone can ask for.

5. Netflix is addicting.

4. You can't change every bone in your body to your ideal body so work with what you've got.

3. Once you narrow in on who you are, everything else is super easy.

2. If you have a hunch about something-You are usually right

1. No matter how held back you think you are, you can still fly free

It was a great experience and I can't wait what is to come on The Single Digits so hang tight and keep reading! :)

-May you have less Ex's than Oh!'s

Dating Myself day 27 soundtrack

2010-07-27T19:30:00.000-07:00

An oldie but a goody from free Spirit, Nelly Furtado.. enjoy

Dating Myself day 27

2010-07-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

I never realized how antsy I get when I am told I cannot move from a certain spot. Being bed ridden all day has been a true test of my patience. The meds fool me to believe I am A-OK and I am having a hard time remembering I have stitches to attend to. Being fragile isn't my cup of tea.

In a more metaphorical sense, being grounded to a certain location ( whether it be physical or emotional) can drive anyone up a wall! Nobody should force you to feel trapped in a relationship, situation or circumstance. We are all granted free will and should be able to practice it freely. If you feel like your relationship or situation isn't allowing you to truly feel free, what are you doing there ? I only speak from experiences or mistakes I myself have made and learned from ( or are still working on) so, I am in no way trying to enforce any theories that have not been tested by me first. From my observations of relationships, I have seen many condemn themselves to cages when they are clearly trying to fly free. At times these little birds get to a point ( sometimes marriage) when they break open from their cages and it is the most inappropriate time to fly away.

moral of the story: Fly free while you can because after you have made your nest, you can't just abandon your eggs.

Maybe its the Oxycodone talking or maybe I'm having a lucid moment of philosophical englightenment, whatever the case... drink up :)

May you have less Ex's than Oh!'s

Dating Myself Day 26: Soundtrack

2010-07-27T06:32:00.000-07:00

I've loved Eminem since he was still Slim Shady and applaud him on his raw lyrics especially in his new album cleverly titled, Recovery. This is one of my fave songs on his album therefore, I am recovering by listening to RECOVERY

Dating Myself Day 26: Surgery day

2010-07-27T05:33:00.000-07:00

My first memory of a hospital stay was when I was a 6 year old with severe abdominal pain thought to be appendicitis. I remember clearly getting an IV put in, having tons of bedside visitors and making friends with my room-mate, Laura. I also remember making up my non existent middle name ( CINDY) and getting in trouble ( the result of an over active imagination.

Since then I have only been in a clinic once and never stayed overnight. in 2007 I had Lasik eye surgery which took literally5 minutes and I was awake the entire time. So, it was no surprise that this minor surgery had me in jitters.

I arrived at the hospital around 7am with my 3 amazing aunts and uncle who came to take care of me. Their company calmed my nerves enough to handle the IV process and before I had a chance to figure out what was happening, I was waking up in the recovery room. If you have never had surgery let me assure you, coming out of anesthesia is pretty incredible. I remained loopy and doped up on Percoset the entire day but, I am so grateful for my aunts and sisters who have truly made me feel well taken care of. The most difficult part of this whole surgery has been the fact that I have to stay in bed. Many people would kill for a few days of bed rest but, to my hyperactive self it is the equivalent to being tied down to a leash by a tree. I guess for now it's me, my book, laptop and daytime TV ( which, after 10am, is garbage!).

dating myself : sound track

2010-07-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

The soothing harp sounds of Joanna Newsom accompany my insomnia tonight so I think she should always be in every insomniac's toolbox, enjoy

Dating Myself: Last week of the month

2010-07-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that keeping up with my blogs have become harder as the days go by but, the lessons and experiences haven't ceased to exist. Two thoughts have been camping out on my sub conscious lately making it nearly impossible to think of anything else: My upcoming surgery ( Tomorrow!) and moving to Spain in the very near future. Although my surgery is a minor out patient procedure to correct a birth disorder and will not even require stitches, I quiver at the thought that I will be under anesthesia for the first time. I believe my fears all melt down to one element: the unknown.

I have a slight control freak side to me and hate to NOT knowing something clearly. Whether it is in love, my future plans or what will happen on next season's Grey's Anatomy I can't shake the anxiety I get being left to hang in the web of uncertainty.

This weekend, I decided to try and enjoy as much as possible with hopes to take my mind off of things. Friday I went to the movies with my cousins and sisters to see Grown Ups. Although it fell sub-par to former Adam Sandler films, I could understand his decision to do more family friendly comedies as him and his comedian posse are all Dads and no longer live the life of a pothead drunk who hallucinates Penguins are in his pool (read: Billy Madison reference!). Nonetheless, I did fit in some chuckles and enjoyed my family time.

Saturday I celebrated the 1st birthday of one of my closest friends' daughter. I am still astonished that we are no longer High School seniors but rather full fledged adults! It was so nice seeing old friends and 'family' later that night I went out with my sister and some friends in what ended up being a memorable night of laughter.

Sunday (today) My anxieties kicked in early in the day and I attempted to avoid them by exploring a new cuisine with my little sis, Indian food. We went to a small cafe in Orlando called Bombay Cafe and I am pleased to report I LOVED everything about my meal. We ordered Samosas, Paneer Chili, Naan, and more yumminess with names I can't recall but were equally delicious to the taste buds. I am shocked how I waited all this time to try foods which now make my mouth water at the thought! After our brief but amazing time at the House of Spices market and Bombay Cafe, we headed to a new Frozen yogurt place near my condo, Tutti Frutti. I consider myself a Frozen Yogurt enthusiast so I was very satisfied with their Froyo flavor selection ( Nutella, anyone!?!?) After a great lunch, I headed home and napped to avoid the looming pre-surgery jitters. Later tonight, My two sisters and I met up with our dad for a Sunday evening dinner at our fave Italian food franchise.

All in all, my day was productive and practiced avoidance in every possible way.

I will report with my surgery experience as soon I am resting in bed with enough energy to blog so keep me in your prayers and stay tuned :)

Dating Myself Days 19-21 Soundtrack

2010-07-22T12:06:00.000-07:00

One of my absolute favorite songs feels like it was written for my fast-paced self. The great Billy Joel reminds me that 'Vienna waits for me' May the lyrics tickle your mind

As appropriate as it seems.. I found the song on a YouTube tribute to my all time favorite movie, Breakfast at Tiffanys so, I had no choice but to post it!

Dating Myself: Day 19-21

2010-07-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

Ever felt like you are running a marathon, bend down to tie your shoe then can't seem to catch up with the rest of the runners? That's exactly how I've been feeling lately. Funny thing is, this month started out with the intention of dating myself in the romantic sense but, has evolved into the busiest and most eventful month of my life! Maybe it is because I am actually paying attention to the little occurrences in life, or maybe I am just a never-ending episode of Seinfeld whatever the case, I am holding on as tight as I can for the ride.

Not only have I been frantically writing my re-caps for MB Fashion Week but, also taking care of my day job tasks, as well as preparing my Grad school documents ( I'll explain more in a future post). Being a pet owner and home owner adds a lot to the mix too! I'm just grateful I'm not married or a mom yet!

As for my dating (if it isn't obvious by now) I haven't had an ounce of time to even ponder it. My mind and energy has been directed toward my future plans and I'm on a runaway train to get there. I feel like time is slipping through my hands like grains of sand from an hourglass ( cue Days of our lives theme song) but, I have to continuously remind myself that everything will fall into place at the right time.

That is a daunting task.

Dating Myself Soundtrack :15-18

2010-07-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

So, armed with my new FLIP camera, I took some videos of the fashion shows. The song featured in my tiny re-cap was played during two of the shows and to me, will always remind me of the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim for the rest of my life. Enjoy :)

Dating Myself Days 15-18

2010-07-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

My weekend was a smorgasbord of action and it left me little time to catch you readers up! I spent it at the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim in Sweatville, USA also known as South Beach, FL.

Since we last left off, I was prepping for my anticipated weekend covering all the Fashion shows for the online mag I contribute to, www.BeChicMag.com I was/am also researching for a move abroad soon.

During my weekend in South Beach at the Raleigh Hotel, I was was submerged in the fashion world. I've come to the conclusion that the glitz and glamour of what we as readers/viewers see in the Fashion casts a large shadow on the hard work it takes. Editors, Designers, Buyers, Stylists, Photographers, and PR agents all came together as a melting pot of spectators to view what will be the 2011 Swimwear collections. As expected, there were the normal folks who work behind the scenes and run the operation ( I'd fit into this category). Dressed in resort casual sundresses, gladiator flats and shiny hair. Then, there were the fashionistas who piled on the makeup, extensions and platforms and nearly knocked over the models off the runway to show themselves off. Being surrounded by like minded people who were all much older and well established than me gave me the jitters! Its hard to remember I am 25 not 15 and I am an aspiring journalist with plenty of experience under my belt.

Bottom line: I felt at home in this environment

I may not have a big time editor job, a fat paycheck or paparazzi chasing me but, I know that I can do this for the rest of my life. The exhilarating feeling of knowing that even in the slightest your childhood dreams are coming to life is indescribable.

Follow what gives you butterflies at the pit of your tummy and never stop chasing it. It's worth the chase.

Oh, the power of BADvertising

2010-07-15T13:21:00.000-07:00

Call me a feminist if you must but, these old Ads make me gag. So glad that equality is on the rise-or is it?

Dating Myself Day 14 Soundtrack

2010-07-15T12:53:00.000-07:00

With lyrics like, " yea it's overwhelming but, what else can we do? get jobs at offices and wake up for the morning commute." MGMT proves that beneath their trippy lyrics and 80's synth sounds they are relating to every 20-something I know, who is trying to hang on to that tiny branch of youth before the hurricane-like winds of adulthood finally blow us away.

Dating Myself day 13 soundtrack

2010-07-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

I love love the film, Vicky Christina Barcelona and think this video is pretty cool. Plus, it has that Spanish/Euro vibe that I'm currently in

Dating Myself Days 13-14

2010-07-15T08:54:00.000-07:00

Okay,I will admit I've been slacking on my blogging. My mind has been trying to organize the millions of thoughts and plans and ideas that are stacking up on my mind. I am planning some big moves in the upcoming months and therefore, I haven't had an ounce of time to think about my 'dating'.

How much does it cost to get some guts nowadays? Why are we often paralyzed by such a strong fear of failure and the unknown that it holds us back from traveling at the pace of the wind?Realizing that my future has so many options has not been as pretty as it seems.

Options are a funny thing; They confuse us to think that what you have originally set your heart on is possibly not the right choice. They can also provide an eye-opening look at the fact that you have more than one way to go about things. Although I know where I want to go ( read: EUROPE). I am stumped on what method I should do to get there. I believe I have narrowed it down to a study program and work program that will make the smoothest transition to my future home of Madrid, Spain.

I digress.

As for the more present tense, I prepare to indulge in the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim this weekend in Miami and I am in a trance. It is one of my million dreams realized and I couldn't be happier! I will be "reporting live" once I am there. Who knows how this will shape my future?

Life is so wonderful, I'm scared!

Dating Myself Day 12: Soundtrack

2010-07-13T12:03:00.001-07:00

This is song is always a mood lifter. Enjoy and be inspired.

Dating Myself: Day 12

2010-07-13T11:38:00.001-07:00

Day 12 was a 'fat day' for me. We all have them; they are normal unless you let them control your life.

We as Western hemisphere inhabitants are so harsh on ourselves sometimes. Everywhere you look, you are being told "How to lose 10 lbs in 10 minutes", "Ways to look skinnier" and there are tons of Ads promoting some weight loss miracle pill.

Although it is obvious that being overweight does cause health issues, there is a slightly skewed perception.

I once read in an article where Katie Perry was quoted saying, " I can't look at somebody who is 6 ft tall/120lbs and say, I'm going to get that body. You have to work with what you got."

Don't pretend you haven't gained some pounds, or that you are a size 3 when you really would fit better in a size 8. Forget about the numbers on the tags and think about fit. Wear clothes that look good on your body and you will radiate confidence.

If all else fails, a good purse and pair of earrings always fits well.

Dating Myself: Day 11

2010-07-12T09:56:00.000-07:00

Nothing feels better than being among family. Especially when we are together for a party. I cannot thank God enough for the family I was born into. It's not to say that we don't have issues ( who's family doesn't?) But, At least I can say we put the fun in dysfunctional. In honor of my uncle's birthday we celebrated World Cup style with a fabulous family gathering complete with homemade sangria( by yours truly), Paella, Mimosas, the World Cup final game, Beer pong competitions, laughter and confirmation that family time makes all things better.

Not only did we celebrate the birthday but also Spain winning the World Cup. Coming from a family of soccer enthusiasts, this was an intense battle for Spain fans and non-Spain fans and the clamor of victory cheers was enough to fill my quota for the month.

Dating myself Day 11: Soundtrack

2010-07-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

I speak for myself when I say that this World Cup 2010 was beyond inspiring. I had never gotten into the global game but, I am so glad I followed it through. My favorite song was theme song by K'naan and David Bisbal. As a proud Spain fan from the start, It was exhilarating to see the unity that World Cup causes. If only American games promoted patriotism as this does. Not to mention the players were GORGEOUS. So, one last time...

Dating Myself Day 10: Soundtrack

2010-07-12T09:35:00.000-07:00

If God spoke to us through songs, this would be the voice I heard all Saturday. Just to clarify, I posted the song with lyrics... Enjoy and hope you hear the voice too!

Dating Myself Day 10

2010-07-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

My tenth day was spent as all Saturdays should be, wrapped in the arms of relaxation and soaking up solitude. It was the perfect way to balance my interesting Friday night and also catch my breath before an action packed Sunday. Not much happened beyond the fact that I did a little shopping, took an afternoon nap and re-watched the 80's classic, St. Elmo's Fire while eating Pei Wei take out.

Thoughts on day 10:

When everyone else fails you, be glad you still have yourself to fall back on. Certain things in life are only to be done alone.
Also, Pei Wei's new Mango Thai Chicken with Brown rice bowl is a delicious blend of sweet and spicy!
and furthermore, St. Elmo's fire was one of the 80's most insightful 20-something themed movies aimed at post grad quarter centenarians (i.e, ME) who are struggling with identity crisis, disastrous relationships and figuring out their futures.

Dating Myself Day 9 Soundtrack

2010-07-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

The Doors always exude that Rock n' Roll aura that gets me pumped. Also, the name and lyrics can definitely resonate with my mood.

Dating Myself: Day 9

2010-07-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

Slamming the door close

Boy oh boy, day 8 was a roller coaster ride of emotions. Most were a sigh of relief even if they were disguised as awkward situations that no one should go through. However, instead of reliving the lows of the day, I will recount the highlights because positivity attracts more positivity.

6 little joys ( in no particular order)

I RSVP'd to all the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swim shows I'll be attending next weekend! ( True Religion and so many more!)
Got Richer! unbeknownest to me, my tax return hadn't been deposited into my bank account and it magically appeared in my bank account today! :)
I bought a new FLIP camera (stay tuned for videos!!) for only $99 bucks! down from $209!! due to the box being opened at Best Buy
I met some new friends at a bar downtown
Ran into my 4th grade crush/friend after many years. That was pretty cool.
Had Five Guys burgers for lunch (cheeseburgers make me smile!)

I also slammed the door close to several chapters of my life and I'm ready to keep on skating through life.

Dating Myself day 8: Soundtrack

2010-07-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

Love this girl's voice and the lyrics a great...

DATING MYSELF on Def Poetry

2010-07-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

Special thanks to my friend Jess from www.hopemore7.wordpres.com who sent me this spoken word about no other topic than... dating myself. Have a few laughs!

Dating Myself: Day 8

2010-07-09T07:41:00.001-07:00

Hit the lights

There are some moments in life where frustration is the dictator; Where you see injustice pinning you against a wall and can only hope it doesn't break you.

Today was somewhat one of those days.

They say, " Everything done in the dark will eventually come to the light" and I've seen it confirmed time and time again. Things you think will never reach the surface and take in the oxygen from another person's breath does and when it does, you realize in your stupid decisions. So, what happens when the accuser's skeletons come tumbling out of their own dark closets thus cancelling out your so-called betrayl? Do you automatically give him or her the " well, its not like I was a saint" reply or do you fight the injustice? Funny how someone can point the finger with such authority then forget that their past actions still have the possibility of coming to light.

As my days in 'dating' continue, my itch for escaping grows stronger and stronger. This time, however, I will launch myself far from everyone's reach and embark on my own journey. One that is not metaphorical or rooted in social norms. I am ready to take the leap into the frigid waters of the unknown and swim to a far off shore of reality.

Stay tuned.

Dating Myself Day 7: Soundtrack

2010-07-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

I love all of the Cranberries' songs but, this one is one of my faves.

Dating Myself Day 7

2010-07-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

And so it begins

After a rather forgetful Tuesday ( day 6) I woke up with a new motivation to make the most of my life. It is due time to figure out what I want in life and to do it. Many past dreams of moving and working abroad resurfaced and I think it may be the time to take it by the reigns and enjoy the ride.

Little known fact about me: I was a honeymoon baby conceived in Paris and was originally planned to be called Paris until my mom was talked out of it. Maybe I was born to travel?

In college I was a Foreign language minor studying French and Italian for the majority of my years. In the summer of 2007 I was set to study abroad ( 6 weeks in Paris and 6 weeks in Florence, Italy). My deposit was paid and all was set until weeks before my trip that life took a detour; My mom passed away. My European trip was cancelled indefinitely and as I scrambled to make sense of my life, situation and college career I set aside the jet-setting dreams to focus on the present.

It is never too late to chase your dreams.

Dating Myself Day 6: Soundtrack

2010-07-07T18:51:00.000-07:00

I had a crappy day and the only song that kept playing on my itunes was this one.. I guess I needed a reminder that life is good at the core of it.

Dating Myself: Day 6

2010-07-07T17:34:00.000-07:00

Forgotten Day

Day 6 was a crappy day therefore, I have decided to toss it in the "Days I'd like to forget about" bin and continue with my month. The best thing about bad days is that they are only ONE day long, so after a long and restful night, I woke up energized and with a new lease on life. Things like bad days will not stop me from being happy.

moving on...

Dating Myself: Day 5 Soundtrack

2010-07-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

Keeping in the spirit of my Asian/Indian inspired cuisine, I thought I'd feature the song from one of my top 3 favorite movies of all time, Slumdog Millionaire. Not only is this dance sequence awesome but the lyrics Jai Ho literally means "Victory to thee" which is pretty cool

Dating Myself Day 4 Soundtrack

2010-07-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

I just had to.. Green Day is too good and it is 4th of July.. Happy Birthday, America

Dating Myself: Day 5

2010-07-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

Recipe for Happiness

Day 5 was a pretty laid back and blissful day. Did some shopping ( bought a pretty rad Scott Baio shirt!), also ventured to the Saigon Asian Market to buy some ingredients for homemade Pad Thai. Later that night, I proceeded to craft the most delicious Pad Thai I've ever had (okay, maybe I'm being extra nice to myself) But, it was pretty surprising that:
A) I did not burn the kitchen down
B) my meal did not taste like cardboard and
C) I made plenty to save for leftovers.

Satisfied from a big meal, I made home made Chai Tea and relaxed for a cozy night watching Netflix films.

Satisfaction can come in many forms; It can be physical, emotional, spiritual or a combination of the three. Thinking about what made this day so blissful, I decided to think of the somewhat menial details that can make any moment satisfactory:

Hugs
Cheeseburgers
cupcakes
Great movies
Sunny days
a to-do list that is completely crossed off
post-workout endorphins
realizing you're one size smaller in clothes
Good hair days
your fave sports team winning the game
A clean apartment, room, desk... cleanliness in general.
Laughter
Thank you notes
finding a great parking spot
Catching your favorite Seinfeld or FRIENDS re-run on.
A great meal (i.e. my Pad thai)
Accomplishing something completely on your own. No help necessary.
Assembling IKEA furniture by yourself.
Changing your own flat tire correctly.

This can go on and on,

Sometimes its the little things in life that make you smile when the bigger things aren't working to your advantage

Dating Myself: Day 3 Soundtrack

2010-07-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

Since I spent day 3 with some of my closest friends, it put me in a grateful mood and decided to dedicate today's soundtrack to those long time friends who have made life that much better. Thanks guys :)

Dating Myself: Day 4

2010-07-04T08:15:00.000-07:00

Happy In-Dependence day?!

Today, I spent it in the company of my family and it was glorious. Home cooked meal, two movie rentals and light rain outside made it merely impossible to complain about my 4th of July this year. The Films, which kept us entertained as the raindrops tapped the windowpanes were both very interesting- to say the least. We wound up renting She's out of my league and Youth in Revolt and had a lot of laughs. Now clearly, I have been dog paddling through the shallow waters of my mind into the deeper corners of theory so it was no surprise that amidst the dry Michael Cera humor and one-liners I began to see the movies in a much deeper light. It was non-coincidental that both of the films chosen to watch during the celebration of our Nation's independence ( which is arguable) relayed a message of

In-Dependence

She's out of my league focused primarily on the insecurities most people face when trying to measure up to their crush/mate. Where Youth in revolt focused on the power of dependency that can cause one to do stupid, illegal or dangerous acts- all for the sake of love.

What is it that causes us to depend on others, even if in the slightest? We measure ourselves up to the ridiculous Western standards of beauty, assume that we cannot go anywhere unaccompanied and force ourselves to adapt to a particular subculture . I speak for myself when I say that There is no such thing as complete INDEPENDENCE. Whether you like it or not, We all have some form of dependence. Even the radical-rage-against-the-machine-non-conformist types are still depending on non-conformity to base their behaviors on.

So, the question still stands: What causes us to depend on others for our own happiness?

Dating Myself: Day 3

2010-07-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

Saturday was spent in the company of close friends. In the morning, I had coffee and a morning chat on the porch of my friend Jonathan's quaint Downtown Orlando home. Later, I went to my best friend, Leslie's new town home and finished off our Saturday together.

We headed to a local spot called House of Beers to watch Leslie's guitar teacher play some live music and were joined by another close friend, Anthony. The venue, which boasts its 48 flavors of micro brews, was a completely new experience to me. We decided to order a flight of 6 different types of beer and that's when it dawned on me: Amidst the laughter, great music and beer tasting, there was an interesting concept on sampling the different lagers and ales.

Sampling is a method that is overlooked when it comes to dating. We often conjure up a type of person we are most attracted to and never venture far from the self imposed "type". Even when it is clear that the type of person you are normally attract to is not really a good match for you. Tasting new "types" is a daunting task and often causes unnecessary anxiety but, who knows if that's the key to finding your true match?

Some of the beers such as the Kona were dark and similar to Guiness but upon tasting you were shocked into the cold coffee taste of the lager. While others such as the Delirium Tenrums ( spell check necessary) were a light blonde ale that of a typical Budlight but, tricked your taste buds into thinking you were eating Gerber's Banana baby food with the subtle hint of bananas.

Just as the beers appeared to look a one way but tasted completely different, people may appear to be a certain way or have certain interests but only tasting will truly allow you to experience the full flavor of the person.

I ended my Saturday with only one thought on my mind: Have I been confining myself to a certain 'type' of guy?

Dating Myself Day 2: Soundtrack

2010-07-02T16:56:00.000-07:00

I thought it was only fitting to soundtrack Day 2 with a little bit of Queen's Break Free.. :) releasing from the grip of Public opinion is a feat in itself

Dating Myself: Day 2

2010-07-02T16:55:00.001-07:00

In an effort to commemorate my new journey I decided to begin by
cutting off the past... Literally!

BEFORE & AFTER

I had been contemplating the cut of mid back length locks for several

weeks but never had the guts to go through with it partially because

it took forever to grow and also because of public opinion.

Today, however, I decided to do what I wanted to and kick public

opinion to the curb and let me tell you, it was liberating!! Even

though my heart pounded loudly in my chest, I face my fear of

conformity and chopped it all off and now I feel lighter, healthier

(my hair, that is) and ready to take on my future without having to

ask the opinion of others

"May you have less Ex's than Oh!'s "

-S

Dating Myself Soundtrack: Day 1

2010-07-01T17:36:00.001-07:00

Thought I'd soundtrack my journey too.. This is the perfect song for my mood today.

Dating Myself: Day 1

2010-07-01T13:21:00.001-07:00

After weeks of contemplation and hesitation, I have decided to take the plunge into dating...myself. Although I am a big believer in dating and obviously am not about to join a convent anytime soon, I will be taking a sabbatical of sorts from the mating/dating world to re-discover myself without the distraction of trying to impress anyone else.

So, I begin as any blogger hoping to change the world with their words should: by watching Julie & Julia, the film starring Meryll Streep and Amy Adams that inspired many writers ( including myself) to put their thoughts in cyberspace with hopes that someone will read it and have a life-changing experience. After the film, I will get my second dose of motivation with my latest and greatest read of 2010, Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I will attempt to channel these dedicated women who once searched for their personal change as I quest for mine amidst the failed relationship memories and pre-conceived notions.

As with any exclusive dating relationship, I will challenge myself to listen to myself, encourage and romance myself ( as cheesy as it may sound). I will dedicate two days a week to go on self-dates and examine who I am as a mate. Be forewarned, if you know me beyond this blog, I will get rather candid and it may get mushy at times so, don't say I didn't warn you.

So, until July 31st, 2010 consider me in a relationship... off the market... taken or better yet- in construction and stay tuned to read every step of my attempt to date myself.

Fathers Know Best

2010-06-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

10 Life lessons taught by my Grandfather, Father, Uncles and other Male influences:

In honor of Father's day this Sunday I thought I'd pay tribute to all the fathers biological or not who have truly made an impact in my dating/romantic life. Whether or not you have a relationship with your biological father, there is no denying that it can determine how you are as a lover and mate in the future.

Make your own living so you will never have to depend on anyone else: My grandfather always taught to never put yourself in a situation where you need anyone to sustain you financially.
If you love your own body, others will love it too. I was once reminded that men don't necessarily go for the hottest girls in the room but, rather the most confident ones.
Do everything with excellence or don't do it at all. Yet another one of my grandfather's wise words. Never settle for mediocre.
Be with who makes YOU happy, nobody else. My dad believes it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of your partner as long as you are happy.
On a dinner date- eat normally! No guy wants to date someone who doesn't eat! Heard this by many male influences. Don't choose salads when you really want wings. Being genuine is more attractive than superficial.
"Beer before liquor never sicker, liquor before beer never fear" My uncle Tony told me this when I started college...Thank God he did ha!
Even if you are married- strive to look put together: Not sure who said this but, don't give up on looking nice because you've settled down.
Don't give away the entire movie during the 'previews': in essence, always keep an element of mystery to you.
"Mixed signals" are really not that complicated. They are just not what you want to hear: If you are getting 'mixed signals' It usually means they really aren't that into you. Throw the fish back in the water and keep fishing for more.
Age isn't that important when dating: My father has proved this advice with his dating selection in recent years. If there is a connection, other factors tend to be secondary.

Destination: Expiration??

2010-06-15T19:38:00.000-07:00

There are few conversations in life that send chills down my spine- and not in a good way.

The " Let's talk" talk: meaning, you will most likely be single following the 'talk'

The " What have you been up to lately?" talk: often done in groups of same-sex peers (i.e girl's nights or High School reunions). These talks are usually done to confirm the information they already know about you by Facebook stalking you.

The best, and more applicable talk for this occasion is the "Your clock is ticking" talk. That friendly reminder that our relatives give us when we have passed the age in which they were: A) Married, B) pregnant with you or C) had their first divorce.

My friendly reminders began once I entered my twenties but, seem to be increasing their frequency as the years progress. This can only mean that if I am unmarried by 30, I can forecast the talk to occur twice weekly.

My grandmother likes to remind me that " Women should get married between 20-25"

My grandfather once advised that " I better get a move on it before all the good men are gone"

My Father loves to indirectly advise that " I should be on the search "

Just because I am 25 and unmarried does not mean I will never be married. Granted, I understand that being the eldest in my entire family comes with a lot of pressure on being the first to go to college, get a good job and bear the great-grandchildren but, it does not mean I am going to be the end to the family lineage. Since when is there an expiration date on when to settle down?

Let's focus on the highlights of being unmarried past the "expiration date" such as:

1) Not gaining post marriage or pregnancy weight :although there is a high risk of 'party pounds'

2) Being easier to travel with: Weekend getaways are more doable

3) Having total control of your bank accounts: unfortunately this also means its only your debt

These 'friendly' reminders that my value is depreciating quicker than Toyotas made in recent years are not fun. However, since it is evident that more are to come it is always good to remember that the expiration date on any food usually has a week more than the date provided; There's still time.

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving: My top 10 thanks to the opposite sex

2009-11-23T19:17:00.000-08:00

Now, Ti's the season to be grateful and although most of my readers are 20-something femmes, I do have a few scattered male readers who fear I will base my next post on them. In order to show them gratitude for not landing in my ranting stream, I shall recount the top 10 Thank Yous in no particular order and directed to no one in particular except those boys I know who deserve the praise.

10. Thank you for being completely honest about my hair color/outfit/boy I'm digging even when I clearly know you are wrong. Being willing to speak your mind to your female friends is a daunting task especially when they are clearly beginning to look like they resort to highlighters to color their hair.

9. Thank you for wearing delicious smelling cologne when in small spaces with females and people in general. ( There are exceptions to this) There is nothing better than to smell Jean Paul Gautier while traveling to the 2nd level of the Parking Garage.

8. Thanks for coming back with witty, funny remarks instead of cheesy and pathetic pick-up lines. That is so 1995 . I may be speaking for myself when I say this but, "U and I shouldn't be rearranged in the alphabet", they are fine where they are.

7. Thank you for wearing clothes that fit your body. Showing your toned arms is one thing, Showing your Hanes Boxers is just plain dumb. This is NOT a Kriss Kross music video and you are neither Kid nor Play. The happy median between leggings and parachute pants is a pair of well structured straight legged pants. Gap and Banana Republic are your friends, so please take note.

6. Thanks for allowing us girls to pay for ourselves and sometimes you as well. Any friendship is a partnership. You scratch our back, we scratch yours; You take us to dinner, we leave the tip.

5. Thanks for not making fun of us when we sing off key on Rock Band. Although we'd rather you laugh at us to our faces instead of making the suppressed smirk look.

4. Thank you for well-groomed facial hair and hygiene. Over plucked eyebrows are a no-no but nicely trimmed beards and teeth that don't look like you store corn kernels in your mouth is greatly appreciated and acknowledged

3. Special Thanks to the few who are good fathers. As the wise John Mayer says, "Fathers be good to your Daughters, Daughters will love like you do". Thanks for breaking the cycle of fathers not being involved in their children's lives.

2. Thanks for not taking yourselves too serious around us ladies, being too uptight is never fun. Humor is the way to a girl's heart, ask anyone.

1.Thanks for being a true representation of gentlemen.

As I said before there are a lot of guys who deserve to hear this so this goes out to you guys. We, ladies, appreciate your genuine wonderful traits and during this time of Thanksgiving offer up our compliments.

Happy Thanksgiving, don't over eat!

xoxo

-s

Don't go Changing.. to try and please me

2009-08-21T12:00:00.000-07:00

Before you begin reading, press play. Think of it as a soundtrack..

Now we all know that one ( or more) girl who morphs into the person her loved one wants her to be when she's in a relationship. "My boyfriend doesn't want me to cut my hair, he likes it long" or " I wear more dresses because my husband prefers me in them" I understand that you should try your best to please your partner and looking pretty for them is important but, ladies. . . you should do what makes you feel happy. I'm not trying to propose that you do everything opposite of your partner's wishes and thus ruin the relationship but, why change everything about yourself in order to please someone? Shouldn't they love you " just the way you are"? If that means cutting off your waist length hair or wearing jeans more than dresses, its totally normal. I can honestly testify that every time I've experimented with my hair ( and that is a lot of times!) I have never consulted anyone but myself. In the end, you are the one wearing the hair/clothes/weight not the other person. Take control of your own life, your partner should be there to encourage and enrich your life not tell you who to be.

xox-S

The Case of the disappearing man...

2009-08-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

The story you are about to hear is something that perhaps you yourself have experienced. If not, you may know of someone who has. Either way be prepared to enter. . . (cue music) The Twighlight Zone

The first time I experienced a phenomenon like this was back in late 2002. While working at an outlet mall clothing store, I was approached by a handsome customer and we exchanged numbers. At the time I was a teen and over the course of the following 5 months I fell head over heels for the guy who was 19, lived on his own and had a car, I really thought I was a lucky girl.

then it happened

Merely a week before my Senior Prom, tickets and dress bought, I received a mid afternoon call from my boyfriend whom we'll call " Ross", he was just getting out of work and promised to return my call later that night. Two hours, three hours, Four hours went by and still no call back from my boy. My impatience grew and the following day I called his cellphone and alas, disconnected!

Fast forward to the present year, I am speaking with a girlfriend and she begins to tell me about an amazing boy she met at the pool in her gym. For several weeks they shared a passionate connection and then all the sudden he moves Downtown and POOF! disappeared.

Has this happened to you or someone you know?

Bar games 101

2009-08-18T06:38:00.000-07:00

This one's a keeper, on my nifty iGoogle application today I came to a link entitled 5 ways to get a girl to buy you a drink.

I must admit, the concept is genius and although I have not heard or witnessed it myself, I can't help but think how many of us ladies have actually bought a guy a drink at the bar? Here's a quick recap incase you can't click the link yourselves and ways for us as the ladies to avoid the sneaky methods.

Tell a story where a different woman bought you a drink. Of course, you can’t say, "So I was in this bar and this woman bought me a drink" and then smirk like an idiot

Ladies this is your chance to answer with a quick witted remark, " That's funny you say that, when I go to bars, guys buy me drinks too"

Follow up with a challenge, laced with presuppositions: "I doubt if when you buy me a drink it'll be that exciting but I'm sure that with a little creativity we can think of something..." If you look closely, this is a sentence made up of presuppositions. A presupposition is a statement where you assume that the person is going to do something.

Oh girls, nothing more fun than bruising a boy's ego with a little competition.. remind him you are smarter than his games, " how about you buy me a drink and i'll buy you one.. think of it as a supply and demand"

Assume her generosity. If a girl happens to say something like, “Do you want to go get a drink?” or “Let’s go get drinks” say: “Yeah! That sounds great, I’ll take a jack and coke” or whatever drink you want. If you say this with conviction as if you really mistook her meaning, it'll probably work, because most people won't say "No, I meant YOU buy" or "Give me the cash for it." If it doesn't work, fall back on "You get the first round and I’ll get the second." You'll end up paying for the next round but hey, you still got her to treat, rather than you buying everything.

Okay ladies, it's getting down to the nitty gritty here, A) this guy is lame and B) release him back to the ocean gently

Play the 5 questions game. This is a common game played by pick up artists, but there is no reason you cannot use it to just have fun.

do the fake giggle and then say, " listen, it was great meeting you but I have to go to the restroom, thanks again for the convo"
Truth is, a guy who plays pick up games is not one you want to date, or marry even. Sure, his sense of humor is there but you can laugh at funny stories or his quips without the blatantly cheesy pickup attempts.

so, next time you're out and a guy tries these tricks you'll be armed ;)

xox- S

Multitaskamist blog

2009-08-14T13:45:00.001-07:00

Hey readers, I have begun a second blog site entitled, The Multitaskamist. It will be perfect to share with your guys and girls alike and I am kicking off the blog with a HUGE challenge.. go now to check it out and stay tuned to both here and the new blog.

Thanks for being faithful
xox-S

Julie& Julia: A blogger's version of 300

2009-08-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I have to admit I may be exaggerating just a little but, truth be told, film Julie&Julia
truly inspired me to continue my journey and dreams to one day be nationally published. Julie Powell, the writer whose blog inpired the film was just your average 9-5er workin for the weekends with dreams of writing a book. With a "deranged assignment" as Powell puts it, she vows to blog and cook 365 days and all 542 recipes of Julia Child's cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

I loved the movie's realistic view of blogging and the power of commitment. There are days (sometimes weeks!) that I do not want to blog. Mondays through Fridays in my cubicle, I dream about making a difference the lives of readers worldwide with my droll humor. Imagining my future like a Middle Schooler imagines their life as a married mom with a huge Barbie mansion. Julie Powell taught me the importance of dedication to her readers, commitment even when you don't feel like writing and that being a writer requires patience and a little insanity.

So, stay tuned for the blog series I have been brewing for about a week. This is my next step in following Julie Powell and millions of other amazing bloggers across the internet.

Thanks for actually reading and I am so excited and empowered more than ever
xox
-s

2009-08-13T11:52:00.000-07:00

They say girls love the bad boys and for the most part of my dating career it has rang true. In Elementary school I liked the boys who were mean to me, as long as they had a nice smile, and even up until my last long term relationship my craving for a "bad boy" continued. As I age, however ( gracefully might I add) My cravings have started shifting from bad boys to witty intelects with emphasis on the witty. Blame The Office' Jim Harper, Arrested Development, Paul Rudd movies, and Jason Mraz for turning me onto the funny, not totally gorgeous guys. I mean if the smile is there so am I.

What "type" of guy do you crave? The mysterious, devishly handsome bad boy that gives your heart a wild ride or the stable bookwormish funny nerd that quotes Dwight from the Office?

The good, the bad and the glad-I-didn't- get set-up- with-that-guy!

2009-08-13T08:46:00.000-07:00

After a short 9 month dating and engagement period, one of my girlfriends tied the knot this past August 2nd. The night of the bachelorette party ended with a co-ed rendezvous at a Karaoke club in Universal's City Walk. So, it was this fateful night that I was to meet my very own betrothed

Usually you hear this kind of plot in episodes of Seinfeld or Friends but, of course, it has to happen to me. Yet again confirming that my life plays out like a sit-com no matter how much I try to avoid it. So it wasn't any surprise to me to realize that "the friend" was not my type at all which brings me to write this warm hearted letter to all those helpful friends:

Dearest coupled friend/older co-worker/mom, aunt, grandma/pastor:

I really do appreciate you trying to introduce me to any man that isn't wearing a wedding ring (and some that already are!) and I can see where you would want an amazingly hot Latina like myself to bless the lives of those men with my wit, enthusiasm and all around great personality . . . however, I really don't think your taste and my taste are exactly similar (read: completely opposite)
I know your idea of a handsome, strapping young man is a person with little or no unibrow, dog breath and with a place to stay ( even though it's mom and dad's place). My idea of a mate,on the other hand is taller than me, great smile and sense of humor. Arrogant, narrow-minded and socially awkward are not exactly how I picture my husband.
so, my dearest friend, grandma, aunt, co-worker, I am aware of your good intentions but, from now on let's hope things will bloom between myself and one of your friends naturally. Inviting both of us over at the same event and allowing us to spark on our own is one thing but, sending the guy pictures of my Facebook is not.

Thank you so so so much for thinking of me and again I appreciate it

xoxo
Shelly

Until next time.. xox -S

Return after a long pause. . .

2009-08-07T13:03:00.000-07:00

It is my horrible fault that I have left you readers without updated blogs for a ridiculous amount of time ( since March!) I have been a little busy with life and everytime an amazing topic came to mind, I was either too tired, busy or lazy to actually write it. However, that time has ended.

In the following series of blogs I will catch you up to the very latest ( think of it as a life DVR). Topics to follow will include:

The fix up that thankfully did NOT occur
How fast is too fast?
and an interactive piece entitled, "First date horrors" where you guys will share your worst date experiences.

Stay tuned because I am back and ready

I'll be your girl for all seasons...

2009-03-29T10:08:00.000-07:00

I am starting to think my dating runs with the 4 seasons. It all started last summer (2008) with my summer fling extravaganza, which included 4 constant daters but, as the summer's heat simmered out to autumn's cool breeze so did my flings and the fall was spent plummeting like the stock market. However, when the holidays arrived, I got a few early christmas flings but they didn't make it to ring in the New Year.

That leads to 2009 which kick started with a candidate which I thought had potential but, has crashed head first into the "just friends" wall. With each new blossoming friendlationship I have attempted a new way to go about dating and this past fling was no different. But even after making more guarded decisions, as the Spring time bloomed, our relationship which was frozen at the "friendzone" melted to nothing.

So it's spring time.. I am still trying to decide if I should be excited to see what Spring blooms or if I want to save up for a guy for all seasons. . .

Do the benefits include health insurance?

2009-03-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

" It's complicated" has to be the best relationship status option for Facebook. It can mean that maybe you are past the stage where you only see each other in groups but haven't gotten to the point where he/she is automatically your +1 at events. It could also be the ex boyfriend that you can't seem to end things with for the sake of the comfort he soothes your lonely soul. Whatever it is, " It's complicated" seems to remedy that question in the Facebook world.

So why does it not work in real life? Talking to a friend the other day brought up the question " Why can't people believe that two people of the opposite sex can be 'just friends'?"

The answer can be taken from the wise tale of When Harry met Sally starring the ever present romantic comedy star, Meg Ryan opposite funnyman Billy Crystal. The story line centers around two friends who meet and have an on again off again friendship before realizing they love each other. The predictable Hollywood story, however, is not too far from reality ( with the exception that they end up happily ever after).

Truth is that men and women can only be friends if two things are in play: A) there is NO attraction whatsoever (hard to decipher), B) The person is gay. Other than those two exceptions there is no platonic friendships between sexes because at one point, in one way or another someone will catch feelings.

In my case a short lived kindergarten crush with someone whom I thought would lead to a relationship crashed head first into the friend zone wall. Forget the fact that we talked on the phone very often and spent some time together. It was obvious that he wanted the famous title of "Friends with benefits" and that is not happening. Unless these benefits include health insurance, a company car and frequent flyer miles I'll pass. I'd rather be single with no prospects than stuck in a make believe relationship for the convenience of Mr. Benefits.

So to answer his question, the reason people can't believe that two sexes can be platonic friends is because in millions of cases we've fallen for the person who doesn't see us the same way, and as much as we try justifying it the truth still stands straight up in front of us, making sure we know that "just friends" translates to "He's just not that into you".

well, guess it's back to the cheese hunt

xox-S

Gourmet Cheese, Please!

2009-03-05T13:09:00.001-08:00

Let's face it , dating is the most complicated rat maze ever. Leaves us wondering what is around the corner and whether we will end up with a processed piece of government cheese or a delicate piece of french Brie cheese or some delicious Gouda cheese.

Obviously, the better choice is a perfectly aged slice of gouda cheese, maybe some crackers and a glass of merlot so then, why are we settling for greasy processed cheese?!

One word can sum up the reason we are not enjoying in the gourmet cheese: Dealbreakers.

We, as daters, need a mental list of dealbreakers that separate the keepers from the others. A set of standards that are acheivable but not too lofty ( there's a very slim chance you will find a hot, rich, successful, sweet, romantic, loyal ,puppy loving, chick flick watching, shoe shopping afficionato unless he's gay). When making your mental note which you will file under " EXTREMELY IMPORTANT" do a self assessment of what matters to you most:

Are you a family-oriented person ? Do you want financial stability? Do you mind if he smokes?

Keep those standards close to your heart and don't let anything come close to making an exception. It may seem okay when you are falling head over heels with a guy that is amazing in every way except for his growing bank debt. In the end, those minor details you try to overlook will come back in a major way.

I challenge you to make a mental list and stick to it, watch how the way you select your "job applicants" changes and how the quality of the guys go up a knotch.

Keep searching for that cheese and hope its gourmet!

Sharing is caring?!...

2009-03-05T12:33:00.000-08:00

A recent study showed that 60% of all married men cheat on their wives... which means out of my 10 friends married/engaged, 6 of their men will cheat on them..

boy, how encouraging, right?...

2009 has sparked a sociological alter ego in me. One who is entrigued by the styles of attraction of others. And boy, have I found some nutty cases.

Take my two girlfriends; both of which are having affairs with married men, both who are single and very qualified for her very own loving relationship.

The evolution of the mistress who often " was unaware her man was married" is now becoming the mistress who clearly knows the strip of pale skin on her beau's ring finger is not just "some birth mark" and goes out of her way to nab him with the hopes that he will " leave his wife" for her.

Think again. Doesn't it make sense that if he is already cheating on his significant other with you, he will play you the same deck of cards? And further more, will he EVER leave his wife? and what makes you think it'll be for you?

Lust and seduction are as enticing as the sweet smell of cinnamon that lingers from the Cinabon at the mall's food court. But, just like cinnamon buns, they have one thing in common.. ASS.

Pardon my vulgar term but, there's no other way to explain. You indulge in this sweet, forbidden dessert dripping in icing ( no pun, intended!) and then two weeks later you realize it.... your ass is the size of a mobile home! the same thing goes with lust and seduction. You indulge in the forbidden chase of catching that married man who tells you he's "having problems with his wife" and after months pass and he's still with her and you are still the booty call you realize it.... ASS.

Let's face it ladies ( and gentlemen) your married lover is already off limits. That parking space is already taken and even if you try rear-ending the car already in the space, you will not get your car in. You'll just end up with a crashed hood, a massive deductible payment and higher insurance premiums.

I know I may not be the Dr. Phil of dating but, I know common sense when I see it and there is no need for romantic comedy movies, self-help books or pop songs to clarify it anymore- Affairs with married men are a bad choice. As horrible as his current wife maybe, she is still his wife and until that is completely changed, there is still time and history invested in that.

Bikini season is right around the corner so next time you get tempted to.. eat that cinnamon bun.. remember how it goes to your ASS

xoxo -S

He loves me, he loves me not

2009-03-03T07:42:00.000-08:00

Being a woman is tough work.

We've heard this time and time again; in movies, from our mothers and in the feminist empowerment section of our local Barnes and Noble.

We were given an amazing array of gifts from our Creator ranging from our perfectly timed week of hell ( also known as mensturation), the ability to push out a watermelon-sized human head from a quarter-sized elastic hole and of course, the most complex and over analytical dating style.

And so the story goes: Boy meets girl, girl likes boy's smile and says flirty comments to gain boy's attention. Boy returns the flirting and smiles back. Girl mentally begins analyzation if the full toothed smile means he's into her, or maybe a " I am really just a ladies man and I know it" smile. The analyzing begins.

It seeps into our every thoughts and clouds every interaction with that person, assuming the way he blinks secretly means some message we are missing out on. A message we all long for... that he is picturing your lives together as much as you are.

So.. when the signals are as varied as a bowl of chex mix at a house party, how can we analyze the next move to make? Do we give up on the concept that we can find every answer to our questions on our own? or do we take the stand of the man and let him do the dirty work for once. For him to start the guessing game, to wonder if we are into them?

As a current fighter in the battle of dating confusion, I could use all the amo possible.. post your comments below..

Previously on Single in the Suburbs...

2009-02-27T11:15:00.001-08:00

No need to fear that I have joined a convent, admitted myself in a mental asylum or worse- gotten married ! I have been M.I.A but, with good reason.

There will be many more blogs to come from this point on. I will try not to fail you guys again so stay tuned; I have a lot of ground to cover and fun stories to share!

An ode to a great song for Single Ladies

2009-01-15T12:48:00.000-08:00

This month's "Dating myself" series has brought a lot of questions ( primarily from the male readers) about why I've committed to this, and at times some teasing about how my "relationship" is going with myself. Is it so hard to understand that committing 30 days to yourself is not that big of a deal?

Our pop music often pollutes the concept of being Single making it seem like we are single not by choice but rather in some desperate state where we are trying to get a companion. News Flash: Some of us ( namely, me) are single by choice and enjoy it for the time being. I am not completely against relationships but, as you have read, my life is quite busy already to be adding someone else's burdens to the mix. Therefore, my all time favorite single girl's anthem is Single by Natasha Bedingfield.

Her clever lyrics, about being single shed a new light to most single lady songs. It is not too feminist, man-hating but rather just letting others know the status doesn't mean we are A) Lesbians, B) Desperate for a man or C) not capable of having a healthy relationship. My favorite line in the song is :

Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way

I hope that readers understand the reason behind the Dating Myself series and in the end get inspired to do a self analyzation on themselves as well.

Sometimes only chocolate does the trick!

2009-01-13T09:47:00.001-08:00

EMBARASSING MOMENT ALERT!

Okay, not so much about being single but defiintely about life.
Today at work, I decided to continue my effort in losing weight by bringing a Fillet of Tilapia and fresh veggies in the new Gladware steam bags and heat them up at the office. I've done it before and it is perfectly healthy and easy to make. So, naturally around noon I go the breakroom with my fave co-worker to enjoy our lunch and gossip as usual and pop my tilapia in the microwave for steaming. Little did I know that I had left the ziploc closure of the bag slightly opened while it steamed. Less than a minute later My co-worker and I were gasping for air in the breakroom that now smelled like a fish market.

I opened up the doors to air out the smell and in turn consumed the entire station with Eau D' Nemo perfume! and if my face weren't red already, some of my coworkers for the Radio division of my company came in to the breakroom to investigate " what died in here?!"

Oh the Horror! I took the last 30 minutes of my break to the CVS drugstore in an attempt to leave the crimescene until the smell had subsided. I picked up my only form of peace in this tragedy, Hersey's Dark Chocolate and took a sigh of relief. Upon my return, the smell was almost gone but my stench of embarassment still lingers on..

IS THIS HOW I WILL END UP??!

2009-01-12T12:13:00.000-08:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28618163?GT1=43001

Would-be bride, 107, seeks her first husband
Too afraid to wed when young, Chinese woman fears she's a 'burden' to kin

BEIJING - A 107-year-old Chinese woman who was afraid to marry when she was young has decided to look for her first husband and hopes to find a fellow centenarian so they will have something to talk about, a Chinese paper reported.
Wang Guiying is worried she is becoming a burden to her aging nieces and nephews since breaking her leg when she was 102 and had to stop doing chores like washing her clothes.
"I'm already 107 and I still haven't got married," the Chongqing Commercial Times quoted her saying. "What will happen if I don't hurry up and find a husband?"

Ok, so This article was more nightmarish than Amy Winehouse sunbathing in her bikini. I mean, seriously 107!! call me overdramatic but this has to send single girls chills down their spines!

In other news, I am working on the perfect single girl soundtrack for a night when you have a date with Merlot so stay tuned to that and keep reading, the fun has just begun!

"All my single ladies, all my single ladies"

2009-01-12T06:45:00.001-08:00

Something Magical occurs when single ladies gather. It is almost as if we are connecting magnetic forces drawn to eachother or pieces of fabric woven together by one common thread-non commitment.

This weekend, some single ladies (and my bestie, the engaged one) went out to celebrate a friend's 27th birthday. We decided to keep it low key and went to paint pottery then dinner. The dynamics in conversation were almost night vs.day with those I had experienced weeks earlier with my coupled friends and I loved it!

However, as the night went on and we ranted about how "there are no single ladies for us to hang out with!" it struck me; In all of our social circles there are significant amounts of single ladies just itching to get out like us. Instead of wasting our time complaining, we should be celebrating our freedom and joining forces. So, in 2009 although it is already 12 days in, I vow to unite the single ladies in my social groups and create new memories to tell our children ( or maybe not tell them, depending on how embarassing it is!)

"Together or Separate?"

2009-01-12T06:32:00.000-08:00

This weekend, while out to dinner with some friends for a birthday I experienced the often occuring case of "couple assumption", Let me explain.

I met up with some friends for dinner at a local restaurant and it just so happened that when I arrived a guy friend of mine was arriving too therefore we sat next to eachother, across from two pairs of couples. Shortly after an other couple arrived and sat next to us. Now my friend and I are purely platonic and there were no bad intentions in our seating arrangements ( besides the vomit inducing view of four googly eyed lovebirds in front of our faces) So, when our checks arrived, it was to my (shocking) surprise that our waitress had put both of our meals on one check. For a moment, I thought, " well, that means free meal for me" but then it hit me. Why is it automatically assumed that one is "together" with another if they happen to be in a crowd of couples? and Furthermore, does that bring out boyfriend/girlfriend behaviors in us to make others assume that??

Ultimately, we both laughed it off justifying the fact that she never asked our party of 12 who was together or separate for the split checks? and as for my free meal? well... all I can say is I left with a full tummy and empty wallet.

Missing the memo?

2009-01-09T11:01:00.000-08:00

Hey Blogosphere!

Thought I'd start chroncling my single girl adventures and thoughts on being in this exclusive and elite yet open to everyone group in the World. So lets jump in:

Okay, my stats? 23, latina, college graduate, Television Advertising professional, 5'0 self diagnosed with the hard to cure disease constant singlitis and having bipolar feelings about that.

Now that you can understand me, or pretend to atleast, let me explain my recent frustrations.

In the past weeks I have found myself stuck in situations that used to be throughly entertaining becoming more painful as the time goes on. My best friend's wedding planning takes over her vocabulary sprinkled with her odd desires to get away and do things before her marriage ( side note: does that mean I'm locked in a cage if I get married??!) and although i'm a sucker for chick flicks I am getting a little irritated when the topic of conversations in groups of femmes is love. My other friend, in a new and blooming relationship is neck deep in the first months love trance. And thats a great thing because she really got something you only see in movies. I really wish them the best. It is so serious, however that today I got the icing on my bitter girl cupcake... the proposal is coming soon which I extremely happy about but also sent me into a tailspin of analytical thoughts.

Having been in one extra long Carrie and Big-esque relationship for the last 5 years could account for my severe bout in singleness. However, it escapes me how I am surrounded by the rarest cluster of 20something engaged and married girls in one group. Don't get me wrong, I am super happy for each and every one of them and they really have caught some great ones. But, is it really that necessary to marry that young? Some as young as 21? Maybe its just my distorted view that my career should be soaring before I commit or that I should get to know a variety of flavors in order to choose my favorite?

Whatever it is, I am trying desperately to get out of this bitter girl funk I am slowly venturing into. I think I've found the solution: lots of exercise, new shoes and a couple glasses of champagne but lets see how long that lasts...